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Getting Help
A Ranma 1/2 Spamfic
By: Aaron Nowack

Disclaimer: Ranma belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. So does the Mermaid Saga, but that doesn't matter for this fic. The text of this spamfic is mine, so don't steal it, or in the name of the moon, I will... wait, wrong series. SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE OF KHORNE! Um... this isn't my fault. Honest.

I suppose, in hindsight, that it was obvious that I would have this problem.

It all started back when I first met Ranma. I mean, it was... frusturating to say the least. Him stealing my... no, I must be objective. Us fighting over lunch.

And then... the duel. The coward... no. My missing the duel.

That was when my problem started. It was so easy to indulge a little. I felt I could stop any time I wanted, and it made all my problems go away.

China didn't help matters. Wandering through the wilderness, barely speaking the language, never finding Ranma... Is it really any wonder I started to indulge more than just a little?


That word says it all really. I think that's when I became addicted. My troubles were more than I can handle, so I ran away, finding shelter in my... disease. That is what they call it, isn't it?

Then Nerima. P-chan. The Bakusai Tenketsu. Losing time and time again. It was such an easy escape, you know? Not having to worry about anything but it. I was always finding excuses to do it.

The Shi Shi Hokoudan. A technique that fed on anger and depression. I started to wallow in those emotions, letting them consume me as part of my quest to defeat Ranma. But I still had to deal with them. And so, my "little problem" became not so little.

I think it was after Saffron that I realized just how bad I was becoming. I was trying not to indulge... didn't want to be distracted from the goal. But that just made things worse. Once or twice, I think it affected my fighting, kept me from doing my best. And that could have killed Akane.

So, I knew I had a problem, and wanted to get rid of it. But how to do it? I hated to admit it, but I needed help.

So, I went to Ukyou. I had known that she had once shared this problem, during her ten years chasing the Saotomes. I also knew that she had dealt with it, somehow.

She was the one who introduced me to the group. She had ran across it during her travels, used it to get over the worst of the disease. I thought it was quite amazing. A worldwide organization, dedicated to helping people like me. It was a revelation.

I still remember when I said those words, when I first had hope for overcoming this problem. The same words you just said, admitting you had the same addiction.

My name is Ryouga Hibiki, and I'm a Ranma-hater.

So, welcome to Ranma-Haters Anonymous. What's your story?

Author's Notes

Blame Brian Randall for this. Really. It's all his fault.

Um... no offense meant to real recovering alcoholics, of course.