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A Not So Mystery Fusion
By: Aaron Nowack

Disclaimer: Evangelion belongs to Gainax. I don't even know who the other source belongs to.

The blame for this is MINE! ALL MINE! BWAHAHAHAHA! There is no scapegoat... there is only AKUMA!

Ahem. Please pardon the above. I feel whimsical today. On with the Not So Mystery Fusion!

Misato winced as the sounds of explosions mingled with the ongoing alarms. So, it was finally beginning. SEELE was making its move. Well, not really finally. They had already attempted to take over the Magi, but good old Ritsuko had dealt with that.

But, now, the JSSDF was their chosen weapon, and NERV had nothing it could do to stop it. Except... the Evangelions.

But Misato doubted she could give that order, to use those twisted shadows of the Angels to slay the same people they had been defending. To order the Children she thought of as her own to become killers.

No, she couldn't do it, she decided just as an explosion shattered the far wall of Central Dogma. She shouted a quick interrogative, and received confirmation that it had been a bomb, likely placed by some sabeutor. But still good news, as it meant the JSSDF wasn't at the bridge yet.

Suddenly, she heard the Magi begin to whir, just as she heard Maya's shouted warning that a hidden program inserted during the takeover attempt was turning on the main screen.

Misato looked up to see a visage she recognized from her covert research and the information Kaji had given her. Kihl Lorenz, Chairman of "the committee"... SEELE-01.

That personage indulged in a hearty laugh as he stared down at the cowering NERV personal. After a long moment, the massive image of his face turned towards the Commander of NERV, who had risen in the interim.

"It's you," Gendo stated quietly, pushing his glasses up on his nose.

"How are you, gentlemen?" asked Lorenz, as though he was chatting over a fine cigar and a bottle of champagne, rather than taunting his enemy mercilessly as his minions brought death to all who opposed him.

The Commander was silent.

"All your base are belong to us," said Lorenz, seemingly not perturbed by the lack of response to his question. Misato gasped. If her readings of the Dead Sea Scrolls were right...

Lorenz confirmed her guess as he continued. "You are on the way to destruction." Misato silently nodded. Third Impact...

Ikari finally deigned to speak. "What you say?" he asked, his voice calm and cold.

"You have no chance to survive make your time," said Lorenz, delivering the line as though it were a Biblical pronouncement. And indeed it was.

However, the solemnity was disturbed as Lorenz broke into maniacal laughter before terminating the connection. Misato was shaken to the core. This was the definition of a worst case scenario.

All eyes in the bridge were turned to the Commander, waiting to see what he would order. His next words could decide the fate of every living being on Earth, and he pondered them for a silent eternity.

"Take off every Eva," he finally said, his voice firm with determination.

Misato hesitated. Even though she knew it would save billions of lives, she still couldn't order the children to fight a war against their own species...

"You know what you doing?!!!" roared Gendo. "Move Eva!" He paused, taking a deep breath.

Even the battle hardened JSSDF special ops troops heard and shuddered at the bellow that came next. It would later become know as "The Shout Heard Over Roughly An Acre", and it would be remembered as one of the most fearsome battle cries in all human history.


Yes, my dear torture subjects... err, readers. It's End of Zero Wing.

I really wish I could blame someone else for this. But I can't!